The coaching ministry of “Sporting
Our Spirit with Active Grief
Relief” has evolved over the
course of a lifetime. The
soul, I believe, seeks to be
perfect as it journeys and
ultimately returns to its
Creator. To be greater than
our ordinary selves is a way
that we can sense God within
us. How this happens, I am
certain, is individual and a
mystery. There is a grit
that I have found through
the physical exertion in
sport that acts as a
spiritual afterburner when
at times I have thought that
I had no other reserve.
The lessons and the
messages learned through a
life enhanced by sport are a
resounding: “You can make
it. Dig deeper. You will
prevail. I am with you
always.”
It was 1960. I was just
nine years of age when we
lived for a period in
Acapulco, Mexico. My mother
was pregnant with my
youngest sister, Jacqui. The
night was hot and she was
desperately craving Coca
Cola. We lived on an unlit
street in a small beach
house one mile from an aid
station with some supplies
and a Mexican patrol squad.
My first Olympic calling
came on that night. I
convinced my mother that I
could make that run. I
thought about the scorpions,
the sounds of night, and the
darkness. But I made it. A
patrol officer kindly rode
me back to our house on his
bike, with me carrying the
treasured bottles of cold
Coca Cola.
"Competency in sports
provided me with one of my
few constants."
Growing up was
tumultuous. As a family we
moved a lot. Competency in
sports provided me with one
of my few constants. As an
athlete, no matter where we
lived, I had a community in
which I could relate. To
believe in oneself is
powerful. Sports gave me an
identity and a personal
philosophy. As the eldest
sibling in the family, I
imparted the virtues of
sport to my sisters as a way
of coaching personal
confidence in them.
It is only with hindsight
that I have come to
recognize the spirituality
of sport.
In high school, the only
debate in which I was
seriously inspired to
compete was on the topic:
“Our greatest glory consists
not in never falling but in
rising every time we fall”
(Confucius has been credited
with this quote, but it has
often been sited as
anonymous). This is the
essence of the spirituality
of sport to me. It is about
giving all you have,
believing with all your
heart, and never giving up.
When I lost my husband
and best friend, David
Shadle in 1999 to suicide,
it was a betrayal and an
assault on everything I ever
believed in. I was certain
that I would NEVER get up.
It took the love of my two
sons, my faith in God, and
an Olympic effort to
reinvest in living.
Five years later, my life
was restarted. I was engaged
to be married. Devastation
struck again. Depression and
suicide often strike more
than once in the same
family. Our son Jacob
succumbed to the same
despair and complications of
the disease. His life ended
in suicide as well in 2004.
What more need I say? How
does one evaluate meaning
and purpose for living given
this kind of suffering and
adversity?
"I would walk through the
fire but
I would not do it alone"
But God had a plan for
me. I would walk through the
fire but I would not do it
alone, and I did not burn to
death (paraphrase of Isaiah
43:2). I found a new faith
community in the Fort Myers
area. One of the teachers
from this church also taught
Pastoral Theology classes at
a college branch not far
from my town. She encouraged
me to attend. Before I knew
it I was enrolled.
Certain events while in
study at the college led me
to connect my life
experiences and the gift of
athleticism with the call to
ministry. First of all, I
was continuing to heal from
my grief in the study and
sharing of the Word in
community. I was building
strength in body, mind, and
spirit. A class entitled The
Pauline Epistles was really
an awakening. For me it was
simply impossible to study
the Apostle Paul’s ministry
and not recognize the power
his athletic metaphors have
to ignite the senses and
bring about conversion.
People related to sport
in the first century a lot
like they do today. Thus, it
was no coincidence that the
Apostle Paul, a tentmaker by
trade would position himself
at Corinth during the events
of the renowned athletic
games second only to the
Olympics. The awakening
which I had in this theology
class transformed me. Ever
since, I have been reading
and reflecting upon this
unique connection which
sport has to spirit. I have
identified countless others
who recognize and pursue the
pastoral call of sport.
Additionally, it has given
me opportunities to examine
the many ways in which sport
continues to bring me closer
to God: teaching me
determination, discipline,
endurance, hope, passion,
and joy.
"I found ways to put a voice
to my story"
From awareness to
communication has been a
ridiculously arduous
journey. With the help of a
friend, I found ways to put
a voice to my story and to
identify places where
telling it could be a
ministry to others. One of
these places was a detention
center for incarcerated
teenage males. The mother in
me immediately recognized
the emotions in them of
hurt, fear, anger, and
loneliness. I sought to
share with them the warmest
and most promising bible
stories I knew. They were
politely lulled.
However,
when they heard pieces of my
own personal story, the
atmosphere changed. They sat
up, some opened their
Bibles, others asked
questions. Some asked me to
come back, to please pray
for them. I was old enough
to be their grandmother, but
we shared a common ground:
brokenness. I assured them,
we are all given what we
need to get through the
triumphs and tragedies of
life. What really matters is
that we use the gifts God
gives us. Oddly enough, my
gift just happens to be
sport. I am an athlete. What
is your gift? How are you
using it?
